I haven't been writing much as I seem to be in some sort of funk. Not that I have ever been much of a writer, I dunno. CJ has been on me to write more about ME and not about what is happening in my everyday life. Part of me wants to write and write and write, but the other part of me just wants to sit on his ass and do nothing all day. With this ADD is that your attention can wander from one thing to thte next to the next to the next in just a few minutes or even seconds, also I have a tendency to get bored really quickly and have to find something newer and more interesting. Hell even as I write this I have skipped forward five songs on the ipod (wait make six) and have stopped typing to look out the window as many times. It is really really difficult to sit still and just write. Maybe I am so out of practice that I have forgotten how to?
...
Here's a Ben Folds song that I found earlier today that really got my attention:
"Still"
I must give the impression
that I have the answers for everything.
you were so disappointed
to see me unravel so easily.
It’s only change
only everything I know
even the things
that seem still are still changing.
mother misses her baby
but I only wanted to be me
she changed address and haircuts
and boyfriends and light bulbs it's easy
but it’s only change
only everything I know
even the things
that seem still are still changing
I stay focused on details
it keeps me from feeling the big things
but watch the microscope long enough
things that seem still are still changing
...
There are many things I want to talk about with this journal but I am just not sure if I want to reveal that much here. If I weren't such a coward I would come out and tell the things I want to tell to the people I want to tell them too, but for now I will play the coward and talk about the "safe" things here.
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